What is life…?

“What is life?”

Usually this is in response to something odd that has happened. For example, I could be walking down the street and see a baby by themselves, without ay parental supervision…and people wonder why some children go missing! hmmm…..

I do not like to place any significance on the question because life does not concern me; is that bad? I believe that everyone ask this question, whether as a joke or a serious question. However, what does it take to develop such question?

The job I am currently at is not considered full time; literally eight hours shy. Fortunantly, I have been given a lot of time on my hands and it is crazy how the universe works because I have constantly prayed for a job that pays well, but does not require me to work a lot of hours! Luckily, the universe has worked in my favor and I have all of this free time; I have always told myself that when I get this free time, I will be productive.

I had this dream of becoming a youtuber: I started my channel over three years ago, but have not been consistent with uploading videos. Whenever I would upload a video, I would be so happy because I have accomplish something!  However, I would stop there and wait for all the subscribers to roll in; that was crazy thought. I knew that those very few videos on my channel would not help me become the youtuber I wanted to be, but I did not give up…

To be honest, I knew that youtube was not for me, or at least the context of my videos were not true to me. Deep down, I knew it was not for me because I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Let’s be real, I was attracted to the money! I understood that if I had money I would not have to worry about going to a job I did not like and I would be getting paid for something I loved! Isn’t that the dream?

I figured that the free time the universe granted me was meant for creating youtube videos.  Now that I know that journey is not mine, what do I do? What am I supposed to do with life? Was that my life? That was a goal of mines and it feels that I have run out of goals.  Since I do not have any goals, what is the point?

I work, come home, try to eat health, try to work out, want a nice body, but what is a nice body?  Go to sleep, watch tv, go on the internet, apply to more jobs, go shopping, spend money, repeat this entire process, possibly with adding something new. I have come to a point where I do not know what life is and that is a genuine concern. Am I the only one who feels like this, the only one concerned with this life I was given and how I am supposed to live it. We are only granted this life once, what does this life mean…? What is life?

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